Marriage Problems: Lets tackle them.

There is one thing every married person will tell you: marriage is hard. Anyone in the midst of that proverbial honeymoon period may have a hard time believing that, though. Those first few months after you tie the knot, you truly understand the notion of wedded bliss. But once life starts to settle in, some inevitable problems crop up for most couples. 

 

 I asked married women about the biggest issues in their marriages and here's what they had to say:

1. Money, money, money. We can barely even talk about it in an objective, budget-discussing sense without getting all testy and defensive. So much emotional murk tied to money.
2. It's kind of cliche, but he leaves his shit everywhere!
3. He never goes to our kids' school activities or plays.
4. Our marriage has three people -- me, my husband, and his mother.
5. Tempering our expectations of one another. Often we will "expect" the other person to do things in the way that we would have done it, be it showering the kids or acknowledging a birthday, or having dinner on the table after a particularly hard day. And when that doesn't happen, coming back from that disappointment is hard. But we set ourselves up for it a lot of the time because maybe the other person didn't realize you wanted things done in a certain way or maybe our expectations are unfair and unrealistic.
6. He doesn't want any more kids, but I want just one more.
7. I figured this out a little too late, but I don't think we are actually sexually compatible.
8. We don't spend enough alone time with each other. Between work, kids, and house stuff, I feel like I never see him.
9. He doesn't help enough around the house. It's like he thinks the dishes miraculously wash themselves. When I ask him to help out, he says that he's too tired. Like I'm not!
10. Too much time together. I have NO breathing room.
11. He never tells me what he is thinking. It's like talking to a stone wall sometimes.
12. He snores as loud as a freight train and won't do anything about it.
13. He is obsessed with sports. He even tried to miss our child's birthday party because of some playoff game. I'm like, what's more important here?
14. He doesn't respect my career goals as much as his own.
15. He spends way too much time at strip clubs.
16. He is Facebook friends with his ex-girlfriend. Sorry, but that's not okay.
17. We never go on dates anymore. It's just work, home, work, home. Where's the excitement in that?
18. He's never around. Sometimes I feel like a single mom.
19. We never have sex. Like ever. It's like we are roommates.
20. This may sound small, but it drives me nuts. He NEVER replaces the toilet paper roll. He will even open a package and use a new roll and just place it on the counter instead of in the holder. WHY???!!!

What's the biggest issue in your marriage? Lets discuss it here and nip these problems in the the bud. Marriage should be blissful!!!!!

You can send me a mail on psugar126@gmail.com

Trust is a burden.

So sorry about the long silence.

I was talking to a friend and he says so much trust from his wife is actually a burden on him. And I just thought that its the best thing to do. He said its not as if it stops him from doing the wrong things he wants to do but that after the deed is done, he starts to feel bad and cant even face his wife. He got tired of feeling this way and just thought WTF! Why should he keep doing things he thinks is fun and then start to feel bad afterwards. He'd rather just stop doing them.

Now woman listen this is something we should emulate like seriously. Instead of nagging and bickering each time you think your hubby is up to some mischief just gently remind him of how much you trust him, tell him how much you and the kids love that he is the best father and husband in the world who cant hurt them or do anything thats not worthy. Constantly remind him that you dont doubt his every move. Try to always appeal or speak to his conscience. Smile and help him prepare each time he is going for that boys night out. You know its not everytime the boys hang out that they end up in another ladys hand. Dont choke him please, dont try to be his mama, be his wife. Sometimes chip in that you know he wont be stupid not to think of his family when those excapades men like pops into his head. Do not over flog it. Remember i said just chip in. do not forget to gist him of real life stories where the mans philandering acts destroys a nice family. Let it be a food for thought.

The Importance of Sacrifice in marriage.

Do you remember a time in your life when you sacrificed something important to you for someone else? How about for yourself? Maybe you lost sleep for months working several jobs to make ends meet or maybe you gave up eating foods you love to support a friend or family member who needed to get healthy and exercise. Perhaps you have never had to sacrifice time, fun, or possessions that are important to you, but you have seen others sacrifice for you. How did that affect you? Did you realize the weight of the sacrifice? Understanding the importance of sacrifice in marriage is significant.

Marriage, when it is healthy, will include its share of sacrificing for each other. Two people cannot come together in one home, love, communicate, and care for each other without occasionally suffering for each other. My husband is an amazing example of a sacrificing husband. There have been several times I’ve cut back on certain foods for my health and he’s been faithful to not only support me, but to give up the same foods. Even when he would be out of my presence, he would still turn them down. Perhaps his biggest sacrifice was when he gave me the amazing chance to stop working outside the home, allowing me to work on my health goals and to devote time to my home and to our work with couples. He willingly went without extra fun money and time to give me this opportunity and to bless our family. He is the hardest working man I know, and I am truly blessed to have him.

Is the person with whom you plan to spend the rest of your life a giving person? Is he or she someone you believe would trade their comfort for your needs, if necessary? Would he faithfully sleep at your bedside in the hospital? Would she willingly give up her “me time” to take care of you in a time of sickness?

Are you a giving person? What if finances became tight and you had to choose between your weekly men time (that you love) and her doctors appointment? Would you be willing to give up something important to you to bless her? Speaking to the ladies, if money became tight would you be willing to go without certain comforts to allow your husband to hang with the guys (or other activity he enjoys)?

During the dating/courting phase of a relationship, these small sacrifices may seem like no big deal. You may be thinking, “Of course I’d give up something as small as hanging out or a hair appointment.” After marriage, reality sets in, and sacrifice becomes reality, not theory – and it is often painful. It is hard forgoing things we think we deserve especially in cases when we believe our sacrifices are not noticed.

My advice is to keep giving. I am not advocating being a doormat or never expecting anything from your spouse, but don’t let your sacrificial giving be based on how much your spouse has sacrificed for you. Marriages where each person commits to give 50% often fail. Why? Because there are days that you won’t be able to give 50% and there are days your spouse won’t be able to give 50%.

If your spouse gives 40% for long enough, you may grow tired of picking up the slack if you have the 50/50 mentality. In a seminar I attended, one of the speakers told our class that marriages should always be each person giving 100%… because when one person fails to give his or her best, the other is there to keep things going.

Sacrifice may sound awful, but it is one of the purest ways to show love to someone. Saying “I love you” is good, and necessary; but, giving of yourself, time after time, is proof that you really mean what you say. Cooking dinner every night when you are tired is a sacrifice. Getting up two hours early each morning to earn the income your family needs by working overtime is a sacrifice.

Marriages are full of opportunities to sacrifice, but they’re even good for us too. They build character in us and intimacy between us and our loved ones. If you are in a relationship with someone who normally refuses to go without their own comforts and pleasures, seriously consider the impact of that dynamic for your future. Are you prepared to do all the giving?

I have not met anyone yet who is truly willing to carry the entire weight of their marriage. Some have had to do it, but had they known before marriage what life would be like with a thoughtless, selfish person, they would have likely made a different marital decision.

People have bad days and everyone struggles with selfishness at some level; yet, if you are with someone who rarely sacrifices his or her own way for your good and pleasure, please understand that such a dynamic is not likely to get better – and it can be very draining over the course of a life. On the flip side, if you are unwilling to sacrificially give (demonstrated by your track record, not just what you say), you are not yet ready to be someone’s spouse.

When it is hard to sacrifice for your spouse, especially if he or she has not treated you with love and respect, remember the ultimate sacrifice: view Christ as your example of sacrificial giving (Romans 5:8)

Shuga!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!